SCARY TURDS month continues! When your vampire action film plays more like a victim of a dying franchise than it does a powerful immortal series of films, you know you've ice skated uphill-ed your way into the Restroom...
BLADE TRINITY deals with Marvel's favorite tax evading vampire killer (Wesley Snipes) going up against a Hot Topic group of vampires (led by Parker Posey) once they locate the Lord of the Undead (Dominic Purcell) and restore him to life so he can wipe out humanity once and for all. What follows are nearly two hours of slow motion walking, goofy fight scenes, and constant Deadpool styled wisecracks from a bearded Ryan Reynolds.
This toothless mess is available for streaming on Amazon, VUDU, and YouTube, but as always, you're better off leaving the vampire sword fights to us and finding some other cinematic neck to bite into.
Sit back now and give a listen as Griffin, Crest, & Knight flush you down the Cinematic Bowl with, BLADE TRINITY...
