When your horror adventure film plays more like a Saturday afternoon of throwing action figures violently around your backyard than it does a fun riff on Universal's monsters, you know you've blunt trauma-ed your way into the Restroom...
VAN HELSING deals with the famed monster killer (Hugh Jackman) working under the Vatican who's charged with eliminating the Lord of Vampires (Richard Roxburgh) before he can unleash his vampire brood upon the world and wipe out humanity. Along for the CGI monster killing is UNDERWORLD's Kate Beckinsale, who's definitely no stranger to this type of nonsense.
This Frankenstein sized turd is available for streaming on YouTube and VUDU, but as always, you're better off leaving this monster mash to us and go watch THE MONSTER SQUAD again instead.
Sit back now and give a listen as Griffin, Crest, & Knight flush you down the Cinematic Bowl with, VAN HELSING...
