When your talking toy film plays more like a low budget TALES FROM THE DARKSIDE episode than it does a fun children's adventure, you know you've soldiered your way into the Restroom...
SMALL SOLDIERS deals with a young boy (Gregory Smith) encountering a group of sentient soldiers who wage war upon a group of gentle monsters within a small town after they're brought to life by a military grade microchip. What follows are 110 minutes of boring CGI characters, lazy screenwriting, endless war references, dumb action scenes, and a young Kirsten Dunst going up against a vengeful Barbie collection.
This action figure mess is available for streaming on Netflix, but as always, you're better off leaving this GREMLINS ripoff to us and go watch the actual GREMLINS again instead.
Sit back now and give a listen as Griffin, Polton, & Knight flush you down the Cinematic Bowl with, SMALL SOLDIERS...
