The Cinematic Flushers are back! When your horror franchise reboot plays more like a Mad Libs game of better films in the genre than it does its own compelling adventure, you know you've unwrapped your way into the Restroom...
THE MUMMY deals with a military treasure hunter (Tom Cruise) who unwittingly releases an ancient mummy (Sofia Boutella) only to be cursed by her and spends the rest of the running time trying to find a cure. What follows are 110 minutes of franchise building subplots, smart characters doing dumb things, uneven CGI effects, and actor Russell Crowe saddled with enough exposition for three different films.
This show-me-the-mummy mess is only available to stream via the Skinemax channel via Amazon Prime, but as always, you're better off leaving this MISSION: UNACCEPTABLE mess to us and go watch Brendan Fraser's version THE MUMMY again instead.
Sit back now and give a listen as Griffin, Anger, & Knight flush you down the Cinematic Bowl with, THE MUMMY...
