When your TV reboot film plays more like a two hour protein powder infomercial than it does an edgy summer comedy, you know you've Hasselhoff-ed your way into the Restroom...
BAYWATCH deals with Mitch Buchannon (Dwayne Johnson) and his team of lifeguards as they go up against a villainous businesswoman (Priyanka Chopra) and her efforts to control all the real estate in the surrounding bay. What follows are 116 minutes of obvious source material references, lame penis gags, green screen action scenes, and actor Zac Efron looking like a mannequin borrowed from a bro douche clothing store.
This unfunny flotsam mess is only available for a $15 streaming purchase, so you're definitely better off leaving this sand in the bikini mess to us and go watch the actual BAYWATCH series instead.
Sit back now and give a listen as Griffin, Anger, & Knight flush you down the Cinematic Bowl with, BAYWATCH...
